Good Bye My “Seishun Sick”
A place that has always been part of my life and of which I’m so fond
I began the 2024 year by opening my laptop and writing down my thoughts while still in bed and in my pajamas. Today was gloomy, but I want to share a song that accompanied me when I woke up and explore its meaning with my reflections in 2023. The song is called ‘Sheisun Sick’ by my favorite Japanese singer-songwriter, Fujii Kaze. It is a song with a sense of fuzziness and a sense of refreshment. A song that acknowledges all the suffering and regrets. A song that reminds my life has entered a more mature phase. And whenever I listen to it, my heart feels lighter.
Seishun Sick: The feeling of being sick with youth
While I couldn’t find any scientific reference to the cultural significance of “Seishun Sick” is, the song has become a cultural phenomenon in Japan and has resonated with many young people. “Seishun Sick” itself means “Teenage Dream” in English. Reflecting themes of youth, life, and the passage of time, it has struck a chord with listeners, and the song has been praised for its poignant lyrics and emotional depth. The song tells about the struggle to overcome the transience of adolescence and the inclination to cling to ephemeral moments and experiences of youth instead of pursuing more enduring aspects of life.
“Seishun Sick” has also been commercially successful, with the song reaching the top of the Japanese music charts and becoming one of the most popular songs of 2020 and the music video has been watched by more than 21 million views since its release in December 2020. The purity shines in this song and I feel so blessed to hear it as it evokes a sense of innocence, providing emotional strength to express oneself freely.
I first heard this song in 2022 and it immediately earned a spot on my playlist. It has been my go-to song ever since. The song portrays the struggles of a person dealing with their own ideals, assumptions, and preoccupations, but ultimately accepting reality and moving forward towards better days.
While youth is often glorified and nostalgic, this song adds a touch of realism by acknowledging its challenges and dismissing the notion of it being perfect. However, Fujii Kaze pleasantly surprised me by presenting lyrics that capture universal life experiences from a unique perspective. He puts the lyrics by words that everyone experiences in life from such an angle.
It’s amazing that Kaze, where still in his youth, wrote such a wonderful poem like Sheisun Sick. I think when he wrote this in his home town Okayama, he likely had many thoughts and worries. The use of objective language and avoidance of figurative expressions enhances the clarity of the message. Maybe that’s why it’s not only the melody but also the lyrics that appeal to me. The lyrics are relatable and encourage us to live life to the fullest and cherish our youth while we still have it.
I also was crying when I first saw the music video, especially the scene in which Fujii Kaze and his friends stare at the campfire for a prolonged period, then cry silently in front of it, illustrates their awareness of the fleeting nature of time and the difficulty of recalling the present as if his youth will never be repeated again.
The music video showcases the artist’s natural expression of emotions without hesitation. He values his memories and experiences more than himself and ensures that everyone gets recognition without anyone being left out. It gives me the strength to cry innocently in front of others even as an adult.
I’ve been suffering from “Seishun” too…
For three years, I had been questioning the meaning of my life and even hoped for death. 2023 was a difficult year for me too. I faced many challenges and struggled with things I had never encountered before. At times, I hit a low point and wondered if I would ever feel at peace again. However, 2023 has taught me a lot about myself. What I am capable of, is how much I can handle unexpected pain and sadness when to learn and forgive myself despite the heartbreak and trauma I have encountered.
Regarding the Sheisun Sick song, I would like to connect it with the Revenant, a K-drama that I watched in late July 2023. This drama impressed me with its emotional scenes in each episode. The use of folklore and horror to address contemporary social issues and force the modern societal problem these days resonates with young people who feel disillusioned, angry, and lonely due to the loss of their youth.
Relating to the lyrics, the show also reflects how hard feeling disconnected from the world is, expressing confusion while everyone seems to be connected when connection leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation for years. However, the main character is still driven by a desire to keep running forward.
The drama even brought me to tears by the end of an episode. I am not lying when I say that the plot narration deeply affected me. I felt the struggle of the main character, Sanyeong, as she dealt with her inner demons since her youth and wondered how she would survive.
I saw myself in her; scattered, sporadic, and worn-out state. I repeatedly asked myself how long I had been running from my problems, how long I had been holding on, and how long I would continue to isolate myself from the world. Will I be able to break free from my curse as Sanyeong did, or will I remain trapped in it? I was hesitant as if I could die at any moment. And it had been going on for over three years — the nostalgia, regret, and coming of age.
Sheisun Sick serves as a reminder for me to cherish youth and live life to the fullest, as we know we will all one day turn to dust and scatter away. And same as Sanyeong, I want to be alive and live my own life back peacefully. Although I am not sure what kind of inner demons I’m still fighting, I know that fighting for my existence is the only choice I have. This battle will undoubtedly leave a lasting scar, but I must overcome it, or it will haunt me forever and my youth will be completely wasted.
Sayonara My Sheisun
As I reflect on the year 2023 again, “Seishun Sick” can serve as a poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of life and the importance of cherishing the present moment. The lyrics describe the feeling of being lost and chasing ephemeral things, which is a common experience for many young people, including myself. It’s a wonderful song that can be interpreted in many ways depending on the listener, but it is a personal favorite of mine as it conveys the message of not being limited by youth. There was a time when I felt sorry for myself for not being able to enjoy myself because of the societal expectation that youth is a time when one should shine.
During a period of self-discovery, I was preoccupied with understanding my thoughts and behaviors, rather than embracing the carefree nature of youth. However, I have come to realize that even when things are not going as expected, I can still be kind to myself and not be bound by the existence of youth forever. Now, with gained experience and a deeper understanding of life, I am able to confidently navigate various situations and try and learn to show love to both myself and others.
Closing
“Seishun Sick” is a powerful and moving song that has touched the hearts of many people in Japan and around the world. Its themes of youth, life, and the passage of time are universal, and the song serves as a reminder to cherish the present moment and live life to the fullest. I’d like to thank Fujii Kaze for creating such a wonderful song and showing the nature of youth life, which can be both bitter and sweet. It does not discriminate against anyone’s feelings but rather has strong spiritual elements that guide you through life.
It felt strange to write a reflection on life on the first day of 2024. Despite the challenges of previous years, I have arrived at a year whose numbers I had never before considered. I hope this marks the start of a path towards a better life. Thanking myself for persevering through challenges in 2023. I’m really proud of you! Here’s to a better 2024 filled with new journeys and self-discovery! Cheers!
