Breaking the Perfectionism Paradox: My Journey to Break Free from the Perfectionism Trap
Pursuing perfection or the fear of failure can paralyze us, leading to a cycle of overthinking and procrastination. I, too, experienced this myself; my obsession with flawlessness was hindering my life development.
I would love to share a song with you that started this story and became one of the top songs on my repeat playlist this week. The title is “What If I’m Wrong” by The Temper Trap.
When I was a kid, I never imagined that the concepts of “starting” or “beginning again” would become so daunting in my twenties. It’s hard to start because you want to make it perfect particularly when there’s a desire to make it perfect or a fear of failure. When your mind plays again, it prompts you to consider starting first and making it perfect, as you believe this may result in a slightly better outcome.
I must admit that I was somewhat apprehensive about starting anew. I tend to overthink and strive for perfection in everything I do. I tend to be overly focused on perfection, which often leads me to procrastinate and forget the main thing. I am also concerned about the potential for a negative response or outcome. Could I perhaps be perceived as being somewhat resistant to criticism? I don’t think so…
A turning point came during a tranquil afternoon drive. I observed the trees on the street waving in the breeze and the sun gradually descending towards the horizon. I felt a sense of lightness in my heart, yet I also noticed a sense of clamorousness. I wonder if this was driven by ego or a fear of the future, an answer yet to be unveiled on this ongoing path.
I don’t think the answer will be found until I realize that this is a long journey, not a destination. There will often be days when things are difficult and days when things are good, right? And it will also contain all the ups and downs. The process of getting there is what you will find a “beautiful” ending or a “continuing” journey. I then began to embrace a less perfect approach, which helped me to reduce stress and anxiety.
For the last two months, I have been experiencing a sense of loneliness and isolation. Nonetheless, I remain confident of God’s continuous presence and guidance, which I understand to be in harmony with the divine plan. Perhaps the concept of solitude itself is beyond my perception or physical touch.
However, I am confident that God is always with me, providing unwavering support and guidance, regardless of my emotions or actions. Solitude may be intangible, but the divine connection remains constant, offering support and direction regardless of my emotional state.
A winding road of self-discovery has led me to this juncture. I have learned more about myself and my relationship with Allah SWT along the way. I have faced challenges, but I have also gained valuable insights. I have come to understand the importance of staying calm and grateful in living each day.
Despite the unexpected twists and turns in my mind, I remain steadfast in my belief that everything is in God’s arrangement. The journey has been arduous, yet I have persevered. Realizing God’s role in my life has instilled a sense of serenity and gratitude.
The process of rebuilding myself after years of missed experiences is ongoing. My early twenties were marked by timidity, a trait I am learning to shed. I now understand that life is not about what “should” be, but rather about embracing the present and pursuing meaningful connections.
Each day is a new journey, an opportunity to savor moments and learn from experiences. Starting small is perfectly acceptable; these initial steps can blossom into positive habits and transformative change.
Chasing dreams and desires, even those seemingly unattainable, is not always easy, but it is essential for personal growth. Embracing our quirks and idiosyncrasies allows us to live authentically.
I hope to remain true to myself, even amidst the well-meaning assurances of others. My journey continues, and I trust in the constancy of my path.
Life, it seems, is not a destination but a continuous voyage filled with highs and lows. It is within this process that true beauty resides.
